I Dare You

People are forever telling me that we religious folks walk around with our heads in the clouds; our brains filled with notions that haven’t the slightest relevance. They urge us to “get real”—but that, of course, depends on who gets to define what real is. The Gospel isn’t a mirror that reflects its surroundings—it means to change what is. For us, reality isn’t fixed and settled—something we simply adjust to. Reality, for us, is what God wants from the world. My hunch is that people go around saying things like “that’s unrealistic” when what they mean to say is, “If I did that I’d have to change—and I don’t want to.”

These aren't my words, they're from a homily, a homily that looked me in the eye and dared me to make some very specific changes.

Knowing Where To Look

What is your cross? It’s your most difficult problem, scaring you so that you are tempted to believe that peace can be had by running from it. Perhaps it is your relationship with your spouse, maybe it is a chronic physical or emotional problem, or an addiction to gambling or pornography that plays you like a violin. Whatever it is, Jesus invites you to name it … and, with his help, to shoulder it as he did his. Why? Because that’s the cost of living. Besides … it’s where Jesus can be found in your life. Embrace your cross, and you get him at no extra cost.

This is from a recent homily explaining that we grow not so much from addition, but from subtraction, making less of ourselves.

Pieces of Heart

Something to ponder:

As novelist A. Solzhenitsyn put it, “the line that separates good from evil runs through every human heart—and who is ready to give up a piece of their heart?”

…. From another great homily

Alone

Do you ever have those moments when you feel God is far, far away? Or maybe as though He's not there at all?

Encouragement from a great homily:

If you can just persevere during the times when it seems so empty and know that God hasn't really abandoned you,
if you can continue to pray and to desire God,
the longer you can hold out during these times,
the deeper your capacity will grow to receive the gifts of God.

Non-Monogamy and Intimacy

A few days ago, I was reading Archbishop Dolan’s comments on the passage of gay marriage and I learned something interesting. He wrote about an opinion piece that was published in a newspaper regarding non-monogamous marriages. So I did some googling.

To my shock, a number of people think that non-monogamy in marriages makes sense. One person even commented that his marriage has always been non-monogamous because sex is a need, not a desire.

People are just so overrun by their sex drives! What ever happened to loving one another? To thinking about the other person’s wants and desires before our own? Sex is supposed to be about completely giving yourself to the other person because you love them and are becoming one being with them. Now we’re adding other people just because we want it to be “more pleasurable,” and we’re even convincing ourselves that it’s a need.

Last I knew, a need was something that we would die without.

My priest was talking about celibacy in a Catholicism class that he teaches at my parish, and he shared with us how he deals with it. He talked about sublimation and added that people think that to sublimate is a bad thing, but noted the root is “sublime.”

He then explained how intimate friendships can become when they are free from sexual expectations.

I compare that to all that I see around me, to the pain sex causes nowadays because it is no longer considered a gift from God, but just about our so-called “needs.” Sex has become about selfishness rather than love.

You are not truly free if you have to give in to your sex drive. I can’t imagine trusting someone who cannot share what should be the most intimate thing in the world with only the person they love.

True freedom is demonstrated through celibacy and chastity, proving again that God doesn’t just say no to be mean, but because He loves us deeply.

Detachment

I understand the whole idea of detachment, and I'm a big fan of it, but I've never been good at putting it into action. I've had a lot of plans for downsizing, but until lately I've not put them into practice.

Then my priest was transferred. Watching him that last month, I learned a lot.

His schedule was full. In addition to all the stuff he normally does, he now had to learn about his new parish and meet with our new priest. Along with that, everyone from our rather large parish wanted to meet with him before he left. (In his last weeks I managed two appointments with him myself. When I made the second one I told him I needed a rather large favor, and I knew he was busy. His gracious response was, "I'm not busy.")

He had such limited time to pack. How did he do it?

It helps that he has very few possessions. He has talked about that in the past, and I could see it was true. There was no U-Haul needed for moving; just his sub-compact car and a relative's car. He didn't need days to pack because there just wasn't much to pack.

It reminded me of when I was a college student and could quite literally move in hours.

Since he left, I'm spending time filling boxes and bags. The bags are garbage. Boxes are going to various places, such as the library and charities.

It's been difficult for me. There are memories attached to many of these things. Yet it's worth it. My goal is to have about what I had in college. That was more than enough for me at that time, and it will be again.

Now I have to add a "proud mom" moment. My daughter, at age 18, is also downsizing. I never said a word. It's a decision she made on her own.

What Father did is classic preaching by example. He'll probably never know it, but even his last moments with us counted.

Catholic Joy

If your Catholic faith doesn’t make your life more joyful, you’re doing it wrong.

Now “joy” isn’t the same as happiness, and it is often the opposite of comfort. But Jesus said “I have come that they might have life … and abundantly.”

Quote from a truly great priest.

Priests and Home

Watching my priest, I’ve realized more than ever how much they do for us. I read an online article once about priests, and in the comments section somebody mentioned how much leisure time they have. I couldn’t help but think, “Don’t you know there’s a priest shortage? And do you know what your priest does all day?”

Of course, I don’t know what my priest does all day. But I know enough to make my head spin. In general, he gets up around 5:30 a.m. to spend that first hour in prayer. From there, I won’t even go into all he does. What I can say is that for him to finish his day around 9 p.m. is not uncommon.

He’s the busiest man I know, yet he always, always has time for those in need.

I tend to joke that it’s good that he’s not married. The only time he’d see his family would be if they used the confessional.

Of course, that brings up other things our priests give for us. No wife, no children. Friendships can be difficult. I know a priest who said that he can’t be seen with females or people think he’s having an affair. He can’t be seen with males (at least, not just one male) or people think he’s having an affair. In order not to cause scandal, if he’s seen in public with others it’s with couples, families, or other priests.

Of course, there’s much more I can say about the sacrificial love of a priest. Instead, I’ll tell you the piece I never thought about until we lost our priest.

Our priests regularly give up their homes.

My priest has been with us for 14 years. He has a home, both in his apartment and in his parish family. His love for us is abundantly clear, as a congregation and as individuals. With a congregation of about 2200, he knows each of us individually as much as we will allow it, and he cares for us all.

Now he is in a new church. As difficult as it was for us to say good-bye to him, he had to say good-bye to all of us, go to meet a parish full of new people, and leave his heart vulnerable to loving again and saying good-bye again.

As I’ve watched him over the years, I’ve realized more and more how his whole life revolves around us and doing whatever he can to bring us closer to God. He is a servant in every sense of the word.

God grant that I may learn to serve God as my priest has.

Loss

Our parish lost its priest. His last Mass with us was yesterday. He was transferred to another parish. They have the great good fortune of welcoming him today.

I have learned a great deal from this priest, more than from any other in my lifetime. I could probably write a book from all he has taught me. This is the place I will share my thoughts. I hope it will benefit others. For myself, it will help me remember lessons learned.

This is from someone I follow on Tumbler:


Will anyone please spare two minutes of their day?
I have been struck with very grave news: a little background- a priest I know, Father Richard Bollea is suffering from lymphoma and the cancer now spread to his bone marrow. It will take a miracle for him to live. I don’t ask for much, but I’m asking for all of my followers to reblog and share this with anyone who is willing to set aside 2 minutes to pray to God for his cure. A Tumblr-wide novena (nine day prayer) is what I found, through my own prayer to be the best petition to God possible.

Feel free to say whatever prayers you want; I just beg that you keep praying once a day for the next 9 days for him. This man is the most compassionate, loving, and open-minded priest I know. Next to Jesus Christ, he was my biggest inspiration to enter the seminary. I have a prayer for the intercession of St. Peregrine, which is what I personally will lead:

O great St. Peregrine, you have been called “The Mighty,” “The Wonder-Worker,” because of the numerous miracles which you have obtained from God for those who have had recourse to you.

For so many years you bore in your own flesh this cancerous disease that destroys the very fibre of our being, and who had recourse to the source of all grace when the power of man could do no more. You were favoured with the vision of Jesus coming down from His Cross to heal your affliction. Ask of God and Our Lady, the cure of the sick whom we entrust to you. (Pause here and silently recall the names of the sick for whom you are praying: FATHER RICHARD BOLLEA:

Aided in this way by your powerful intercession, we shall sing to God, now and for all eternity, a song of gratitude for His great goodness and mercy. Amen.

Thank you! I will be continuing to update you. 9 days of prayer, two minutes is all I’m begging for. God bless you all!

Priestly Courage

We're losing our priest. As of July 1 he's assigned a different parish. I hear our new one is a good man, and I'm sure he is, but the one we are losing is one-of-a-kind. Many in our parish are grieving.

He is as well. He's been with us for 14 years. He's come to know us and care for us, as a whole and as individuals. I've heard about some comments he's made regarding how difficult this is, and I've seen him choke up about it. Yet he's mostly trying to smile and joke around with us, trying to make it as easy as possible on his parishioners.

I find this to be an incredibly difficult farewell.

I've been watching my priest grieve, and it just brings to light one more thing that makes being a priest so very difficult. When he leaves, he doesn't move with family and friends. He moves alone. He starts all over again with a new parish, new faces, while missing us.

This has got to be so very difficult. It makes me appreciate even more what these men give up to serve God in the priesthood. I don't see how they have the courage to do that.

I'm just writing this to process and to say thank you to all of our priests.

Life After The Womb

This is a great article from the Witherspoon Institute laying to rest the claim that Pro-Lifers only care about life in the womb and not beyond.

The Lazy Slander of the Pro-Life Cause