A few days ago, I was reading Archbishop Dolan’s comments on the passage of gay marriage and I learned something interesting. He wrote about an opinion piece that was published in a newspaper regarding non-monogamous marriages. So I did some googling.
To my shock, a number of people think that non-monogamy in marriages makes sense. One person even commented that his marriage has always been non-monogamous because sex is a need, not a desire.
People are just so overrun by their sex drives! What ever happened to loving one another? To thinking about the other person’s wants and desires before our own? Sex is supposed to be about completely giving yourself to the other person because you love them and are becoming one being with them. Now we’re adding other people just because we want it to be “more pleasurable,” and we’re even convincing ourselves that it’s a need.
Last I knew, a need was something that we would die without.
My priest was talking about celibacy in a Catholicism class that he teaches at my parish, and he shared with us how he deals with it. He talked about sublimation and added that people think that to sublimate is a bad thing, but noted the root is “sublime.”
He then explained how intimate friendships can become when they are free from sexual expectations.
I compare that to all that I see around me, to the pain sex causes nowadays because it is no longer considered a gift from God, but just about our so-called “needs.” Sex has become about selfishness rather than love.
You are not truly free if you have to give in to your sex drive. I can’t imagine trusting someone who cannot share what should be the most intimate thing in the world with only the person they love.
True freedom is demonstrated through celibacy and chastity, proving again that God doesn’t just say no to be mean, but because He loves us deeply.
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2 comments:
You're right, as a society, we seem to be unable to distinguish between wants and needs. I, too, was shocked to find out there are successful companies who are in the business of helping people cheat on their spouses without getting caught. Makes you wonder what was in their wedding vows, doesn't it?
Lisa, I didn't know there were such companies!
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