Christmas Gifts For Catholic Shoppers

I'm on a search to make Christmas shopping and gift-giving special, to never forget why we, as Catholics, celebrate December 25. As I come up with ideas I will blog about them.

A gift I will be giving this year is the gift of rosaries, though they are not just any rosary. I make them myself. In the process of making a rosary, I pray for the person who will be receiving it. Generally I pray twice on each bead. Then, when the rosary is finished, I say a complete rosary for the person.

It's hard to know who benefits the most. The person receiving it has been prayed for, and I benefit greatly from the additional prayer time.

There are two companies that I do most of my ordering from, though I am open to suggestions for other companies. For now, I often use The Rosary Shop. They have a site that is easy to navigate, and as you add parts you can see what the rosary will look like. They also offer other items for sale, such as prayer kneelers, books, and scapulars. You can, of course, buy pre-made rosaries from this site, too.

If it's your first time, this is one of the better sites for walking you through everything you need. The directions are easy to follow, and shipment is prompt.

Another site I order from is Lewis and Company. They have a couple of centerpieces and crucifixes that are just so beautiful I can't resist them. They also offer quality products, reasonably prices, and prompt shipment. The website offers a nice section for those who want to make a business out of making rosaries.

I highly recommend either site for rosary-making supplies and instruction.

Rosaries can be highly personalized because of the assortment of beads, crosses, and centerpieces. For example, when I made my dad's rosary (my first one!) I used blue beads because that was my Mom's favorite color, and he is still grieving. I used a centerpiece that depicted the Sorrowful Mother because Mom's name is Dolores. I used a triple crucifix as a symbol of his grief.

I pray that the rosary takes him from grief to acceptance.

For myself, I used a centerpiece of Jesus carrying the cross and a pardon crucifix. My priest has taught me just how special the crucifix is, so this was appropriate for me.

If any of you have other good sources of supplies, let me know. For myself, I find that making a rosary for others is one more way to spend more time in prayer.

Gratitude

Today my priest talked about the link between gratitude and happiness. Later today I found similar sentiments at Catholic.org.

This year I have a lot to be grateful for. On the top of my gratitude list (not counting God, of course) is the people in my life. Some are family and friends; some are people who don't really know me, but have been in some aspect of my life and have made a difference.

I am most grateful, though, for the ability to attend Mass each day. I started doing this during Lent. At first I was going to go one weekday per week, but then I remembered I had a similar plan in 2007. It didn't work because I kept forgetting to go. I knew that to make it a habit, I'd have to go every day.

I didn't stop after Lent. Mass is now an essential part of my life. The best part is that it's changed me. I have so much to improve in so many areas of my life, yet life is different now.

It's too difficult tonight to detail all the changes. If you've read other writings of mine you know I have had struggles with disbelief, and that is still a part of my life. Yet even with this, there have been numerous blessings. One of the side effects of daily Mass has been my ability to see the blessings that have come with my doubts.

Maybe one day I will discuss this more thoroughly. For now, it's late and I'm tired, and if I take much longer to finish this blog, it will no longer be Thanksgiving Day.

I hope that you know the delights of gratitude. For those who don't know the difference daily Mass can make, I encourage you to find out by your own personal experience. It's been life-changing for me.

Philip Johnson

I haven't posted for awhile for a variety of reasons. I hope that I'm back more regularly now.

Tonight I came across a blog that stays in my mind. It's written by a young man, Lt. Philip Gerard Johnson, who has recently been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.

His faith humbles me. It's also something I strive for.

I found his blog through InsideCatholic.com. This is a man destined to inspire all of us and hopefully persuade us to more fully walk with Jesus. If you only have time for one blog, this is the one to follow.

You can read it at In Caritate Non Ficta.

I'll be cross-referencing this at my other blog, Can I Change A Life? because this is a man who will likely bring a lot of us closer to God.

I can't think of any greater way to live.

For Unhappy Doubters

If you have read earlier posts, you know that the last decade has been filled with life-changing doubts for me. At the time the downward spiral began I thought there were good reasons for my lack of faith, but I was wrong and those reasons no longer exist. The best I can say is that I seem to have lost the ability to believe in the supernatural. Despite the best Lent of my life, I battle these doubts every single day.

Yet the blessings that have come from it are enormous.

I frequently pray to be what God wants me to be. As I mentioned in a previous post, I can be a little slow at times. I was talking to a friend a couple of nights ago when I realized that maybe these doubts are an answer to that prayer. Maybe I am exactly where God wants me to be.

Within an hour of discussing that with him, I found this at InsideCatholic.com. While it doesn't address doubts, it's a great article about the blessings of certain journeys. Much of it resonated with me. It felt like a confirmation of the conversation my friend and I had shared.

The following evening I was at Mass. The Gospel was the famous one about Jesus walking on water. Father took the opportunity to give a homily on doubts. I wish I had recorded it. Everything he said made an impact.

I need to remember that the important thing is to continue to be as obedient to God as I can, even through my darkest times. It gives me great comfort to realize that Peter was lacking even as he watched his Lord walking on water.

If he found it difficult even in the best of situations and could still become the man he did, I have hope...lots of hope.

Who Mourns?

While we were in Chicago last week, we had the opportunity to attend the musical Wicked. My daughter has seen it before and loved it so much she wanted to see it with us. She was right. It was well worth seeing.

The opening song is No One Mourns the Wicked. Here are some of the lyrics:

No one mourns the Wicked!
Now at last, she's dead and gone!
Now at last, there's joy throughout the land
And Goodness knows
We know what Goodness is
Goodness knows
The Wicked die alone

My immediate thought on hearing those words was, "but Someone mourns the wicked!" I could not help but think of God's grief over those who deliberately turn away from Him. I think of those I love, especially my daughter, and how completely devastating it would be to lose their love.

Yet God loves in a way we can't even comprehend. Does He also grieve in a way we can't comprehend?

Faith and Courage

Today I read the story of yet another brave priest. This man is someone to emulate. I hope one day to have his faith.

To quote from the article:

He could have run away, saved himself, but he went to meet his destiny without fear.

The rest of the article is here.

Learning To Breathe

Those of you who know me are aware of my faith struggles this past decade. I've spent ten years fighting these doubts in the best ways I knew. I thought that I had done everything I could.

As Lent approached, I realized there was something else I could do. I could commit to more time at Mass.

I initially decided to attend one weekday Mass each week. Then I recalled that I had made the same decision in 2007 and didn't follow through well at all. Some of my forgetfulness about Mass attendance was because I was still deep in grief over my Mom's passing, but some, I think, was about habit.

This is why I changed my mind and decided to attend daily. It made it impossible for me to forget.

This was the best Lent of my life.

I won't give all the details at this time. I'm not sure if and when I will ever post the details (though feel free to email me.) All I can say is that a priest from my past had it right. I talked to him many years ago about my doubts. I questioned whether I should still be receiving the Eucharist. He talked to me about the graces of receiving, and literally commanded me to do this as often as possible.

I'm a bit slow sometimes. I kept going to Mass on Sunday and thought I was doing as he commanded. It took me all these years to realize that I wasn't receiving as often as possible. There was nothing to interfere with attending Mass every day.

I'm writing today because a song by my favorite band, Switchfoot, has been haunting me this past week. The song does a perfect job of explaining what Lent and beyond has been like. It's called Learning to Breathe. Lately I can't get enough of it. I still attend Mass daily, and it's one of the songs I play to prepare myself as I'm driving there.

Switchfoot sings an apt description of this past 10 years:

I never, never thought that
I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

Prior to my staggeringly large doubts, I considered my faith strong, strong enough that I thought I'd be willing to die for it. What I discovered is that in reality, too much was based on feelings and not enough on real roots.

When I fell, the darkness was as bad as it gets. Nobody who knew me would've ever predicted this journey for me.

Switchfoot then describes what daily Mass attendance has meant to me:

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Switchfoot also describes my participation in Mass:

This is the way that I say I need You
This is the way that I say I love You
This is the way that I say I'm Yours
This is the way, this is the way

I'm still not anywhere close to where I need to be, but I've made definite progress.

I'm Learning to Breathe.

I can only Imagine - Catholic Version

I couldn't resist sharing this one. It's worth watching.

February 26

Two years ago today my Mom left us for heaven.

It seems fitting to post about her here. Mom was Catholic to the core. In an age when we don't teach our kids enough about our faith, Mom gave me enough grounding in Catholicism that I wasn't immediately swayed by the mistruths that circulate everywhere.

Over the years I've had a drive to continue learning about the Church. The result is a much deeper love and appreciation for Catholicism. That's one of Mom's many legacies.

She spent her last 10 years in increasing pain. We never realized quite the depth of it until after she passed. She left writings behind. Now we have a much clearer picture.

With all her pain, she never wavered in her belief in God. When He seemed silent, she still never wavered. She's an example to all of us.

She was an incredibly stong woman.

I should rejoice for her, but I'm only human and the loss is still too great.

Yet she continues to teach me. In my faith journey, I realize that I can't be complacent in a faith that can't get beyond myself and my loss. I cannot yet be joyous for her.

My grief is more about my selfishness and less about love. I miss seeing her, talking to her, sharing everything with her. That's all about me.

I'm realizing that shedding selfishness is going to be a lifelong journey, but a worthwhile one.

One day I want to be able to love my Mom and all the others in my life with a love that truly celebrates their joy, especially when they have the joy of heaven.

In the meantime, to the surprise of nobody who knows me, when I turned on my mp3 player this morning, a Switchfoot song was playing. The song was Let Your Love Be Strong from the Oh! Gravity CD. It seems appropriate today.

In this world of news, I've found nothing new
I've found nothing pure
Maybe I'm just idealistic to assume that truth
Could be fact and form
That love could be a verb
Maybe I'm just a little misinformed

As the dead moon rises, and the freeways sigh
Let the trains watch over the tides and the mist
Spinning circles in our skies tonight
Let the trucks roll in from Los Angeles
Maybe our stars are unanimously tired

Let your love be strong, and I don't care what goes down
Let your love be strong enough to weather through the thunder cloud
Fury and thunder clap like stealing the fire from your eyes
All of my world hanging on your love

Let the wars begin, let my strength wear thin
Let my fingers crack, let my world fall apart
Train the monkeys on my back to fight
Let it start tonight
When my world explodes, when my stars touch the ground
Falling down like broken satellites

All of my world resting on your love


Happy Birthday, Mom.

The Eucharist: A Symbol or the Real Presence?

It's difficult to comprehend that a miracle occurs at every Mass, but in essence, that's what the Catholic Church teaches. According to the Church, the bread and wine become the real presence of Jesus, not just a symbol.

Though there are plenty of Biblical references to support this, other religions disagree. Many Catholics also believe that the bread and wine are just symbolic. I'm not sure why people who don't believe this continue to consider themselves Catholic because the belief in the Real Presence is central to Church teachings.

So where do you stand on the issue?

Before you answer, take a look at the article I've linked in the next paragraph. My first knowledge of this came from a book by James J. Drummey called Catholic Replies. In it, he talked about a priest in Italy in the early 8th century who doubted the Real Presence.

His doubts were laid to rest. One day during the words of consecration, the bread and wine were changed to look like what they actually were: flesh and blood.

The reason this story interested me is because of the follow-up in 1970. If you want to read more, just follow this link: Eucharistic Miracle of Lanciano.

You may have already figured that this article will retell the story, and you would be right. You will also find proof of the claims.

But it's even better than that. This wasn't just any piece of flesh.

Just read the article. Note the specifics of what was found.

I hope it moves you as much as it moved me.

I'm discovering there are many other similar stories. I'll be looking into those in the next days.

Even though I've believed in the Church teachings regarding the Eucharist, after reading this article I'll never approach communion quite the same way again.

Prayers For A Priest

Sometimes I wonder if priests know how much they can affect our lives.

Many years ago a local priest died. He had a routine heart bypass surgery, he was relatively young and healthy, yet he died. The parish was devastated.

I'm thinking about that because of a blog I came across. The blog is at SaintRobertBellarmine.blogspot.com. Prayers are being asked for a priest who is dying.

There was a request made to email people and ask for prayers. I thought it would be appropriate to place this here to ask for prayers, too.

I only hope that when my day arrives, I can be as focussed on the right things as this priest is.

My prayers go out to not only this priest, but to those who love him. If this were happening to a couple of priests I know, priests who have had a significant impact in my life, it would be devastating to me.

Here's the message from the priest:

From Fr. Ed --

Here's an update on my health status.

A week ago Friday I met with my oncologist, Judy and some family members and prayerfully discerned to stop treatment. It wasn't very hard to make based on the options that I have. Anything aggressive is a long shot and some of it involves surgery with a high risk of infection with my weak body. Praying about the decision came through loud and clear to stop treatment.

I am at peace with that.

We even talked about hospice care at the appropriate time. Some tears were shed and it was nice to have family members there to share it together. Last week I visited my homeopathic doctor and he informed me that a body flooded with biliruben and a weakening liver can die in a matter of weeks but that it is a peaceful, pretty well painless way to die. That was a shock to hear that the illness could break the body totally down so rapidly.

All I can say is that for the past three and a half weeks my energy, appetite, general overall feeling has been constant--no regression and no progress. I would guess that without a miracle we’re talking about months rather than weeks. I began hospice care this week and that comes with some good benefits of paying for all of my prescriptions and reimburses me for ointments that help with the itching. I also get a massage each week.

I'm saying that on the scale of balance of going home soon or remaining here to continue ministry for a while, all of the facts tip the scale on the side of going home sooner rather than later. On the other side is the power of prayer which cannot be measured. I continue to ask Luminosa Bavosi to intercede for me and I feel her presence a lot.

As I say, I am at peace. Each day I have my bags packed for going home (heaven) and my brief case packed for doing the ministry of the day. I can’t think of anything more to put in the bag to go home. My brief case has about two appointments a day and a big reminder that . . .


LIVING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT AND
EMBRACING JESUS FORSAKEN
IS THE GREATEST MINISTRY THAT I CAN DO.


Thanks for your unity and prayers, and love. I lean on them a lot.


Fr. Ed


P.S. Thanks for your prayers of intercession with Our Lady of Guadalupe and the praying of the Psalms.

Perfectly said. There's nothing more for me to add.

Crossing the Tiber

Catholics are frequently criticized for beliefs that the Church doesn’t even hold. When beliefs they actually do hold are mocked, usually it’s because Church teachings are imperfectly understood.

Public ridicule seems to be more frequent lately. My biggest disappointment was hearing a program on a local Christian radio station talking about some so-called teachings of the Catholic Church. The host wasn’t just discussing them, either, but actually laughing at them.

Yet he was 100% wrong in what he was talking about.

I wrote to the general manager but never got a response. Needless to say, I don’t listen to that station anymore. I can only conclude that the owners believe that Catholics aren’t Christian.

Still, would they present beliefs of non-Christians, such as Jews or Muslims, without bothering to make certain they were accurate first? In the areas where they disagree, would they laugh at them?
----------------------------------

I find that to tell people I’m Catholic means I have to be ready to defend my faith. Sadly, sometimes that means defending it even to other Catholics. I’ve found that, at least where I live, Catholics are often not taught their catechism well at all.

In Crossing the Tiber, author Steven K. Ray tells the story of his family's Protestant background, their misconceptions about Catholicism, and their eventual conversion. I bought this book in part because readers often commented about the extensive documentation. I was curious what made this family decide to become Catholic, and I wanted to know what kind of research they had done so I could refer others to it.

This book is worth reading for many reasons. In telling his conversion story, Mr. Ray discusses their biggest obstacles to believing in Catholicism and explains clearly what the Catholic Church teachings are on those issues and why those beliefs are held. If you’re tempted to think he is just picking and choosing his arguments, you can easily check it out because the documentation is extensive.

It doesn’t explain all of the Catholic teachings. That was never its intent. Instead, it explains some essential issues in depth.

This book is a good start for non-Catholics who want to better understand Catholicism, but it’s also a great book for Catholics. If you are a Catholic without a strong understanding of why the Church holds certain beliefs, I would highly recommend this book. If you’re to the point of considering leaving the church, please don’t go any further until you have read this book and some others, including a basic catechism. The people I personally know who have left Catholicism were, like most non-Catholics, full of misconceptions.

If you cherish and understand the Catholic Church, this is still a great book to read. Unless you have a parish that worships well and a priest like our local priest, one whose passion for God makes him glow as he speaks, it’s easy to get into the routine of Mass and forget what it's all about, how truly incredible it is.

This book will bring that back. Reading the author's excitement and awe at his first Mass reminds you of the uniqueness and wonder that we are invited to partake in each and every week.

In Mr. Ray's first book, you could feel his excitement from the beginning. It makes me want to read more of his works. A brief glance at his website shows he has several to choose from. You can find them here.

In the meantime, I’m starting to read The Shattered Lantern: Rediscovering a Felt Presence of God by Ronald Rolheiser, O.M.I. You can read my thoughts about a different book of his I’ve read called The Holy Longing. I’ll let you know what I think of this one.

Another Hero Makes Ultimate Sacrifice

Here's the story of a man who was studying for the priesthood. Before getting there, he made the ultimate sacrifice.

I found this story at NZHerald:

A Kiwi priest has died a hero after sacrificing his life for a 7-year-old boy drowning off the coast of New Caledonia.

Jeremy Gray, 29, was walking in shallow water with the boy while on a New Year's church picnic celebration, when the pair fell into a hole in a coastal reef at Yate, near Noumea.

Neither of them saw the hole because the water was muddied by the recent rainy season floods. They were trapped by the swirling seas.

Gray managed to push the boy out of the deep water and back into the shallows and, despite being tired from his efforts, refused to take the youngster's outstretched hand.

"Jeremy shouted 'go back, go back'. He knew he would pull the small boy back into the water and they would both die," said Father Bernard Girol, one of those at the picnic.

"He used all his energy to save the boy and he got tired. It was Jeremy who saved his life."

The 7-year-old ran to get help and returned with his father, who dived into the rough water to rescue the unconscious Gray, but it was too late.

"Jeremy was already gone, and the boy's father almost drowned too; he got caught in the whirlpool as well," Father Girol said.

Other rescuers pulled both Gray and the 27-year-old father out - but the trainee priest was dead.

There's quite a bit more to the article. You can read the rest at NZHerald.

I pray for the family. They have some tough times ahead.

The World Needs Heroes

The Archdiocese of New York is running a movie trailer proclaiming "The World Needs Heroes." They are running this in the hopes of attracting the attention of men who are considering the priesthood. You can find it at NYPriest.com/

The title resonated with me. Like so many people, life circumstances have brought me to a "dark night of the soul." I seem to be slowly coming out of it, but I'm not anywhere near where I want to be.

Three different priests, all in their own way, have been instrumental in helping me. One of them doesn't even know of my struggles, but through his passion for God he has influenced me greatly.

The other two have counseled me with complete understanding. During my darkest days, some people told me I wasn't praying properly (like God has some magic but secret formula that you have to follow) or that I didn't have enough faith (as though I could just decide to have it and it would be there.)

I heard all sorts of things putting the blame on me, but never from a priest. They recognized my pain and didn't try to come up with the easy, instant answer.

I hope to one day say I have total faith again. In the meantime, I've become a better person.

These three priests have enhanced my life greatly. They have done more to help me with the most important part of my life than I can express.

These priests are truly heroes.